Tag: Self Discipline

Many parents and caregivers feel alone in their struggles yet we all share similar joys, frustrations, and concerns. Sharing your questions in community not only adds tangible strategies to your parenting tool kit, but also helps restore your confidence. It reminds us that children and adolescents are not a problem to be solved, but an adventure to be lived.

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  • 5 Tips for Effective Limits and Consequences

    We know that effective limits and consequences are key to the development of respect, empathy, and self-discipline. That said, setting and enforcing them aren't always easy. Here are some tips to get you started:
     
    • State your expectation clearly as well as the consequence for non-compliance.
    • Be specific. For example, “I want you to take out the garbage. If it’s... 
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  • Answering the "why me?" monster: Chores and kids

    When asked to do a chore, our 12 year old son always responds with a question such as "Why do I need to do that?" followed by multiple other questions. We are both teachers and have different ideas about what he is trying to accomplish with this response. We are interested in your ideas.

    Thanks,

    Sandi, Rosemount, MN... 

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  • 10 Ways to Form Secure Attachment With Your Baby

    I just wrote a post about the importance of forming a secure attachment with your baby. Here are ten ways you can make sure that you are putting your baby on the path towards independence and self-discipline:

    1. Don't ignore your baby's cries. Respond to her cries of distress by trying to figure out what is wrong and soothing... 
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  • Spoiled baby or secure attachment?

    Dr. Dave, I know that you do a lot of research on self-discipline and self reliance. I work with new parents and many are worried about "spoiling" their babies by responding immediately to their cries and picking them up. How should I respond?

    Cheryl, Mississippi

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  • Praise and Children: Building Real Self-Esteem

    Can praising kids be a bad thing? Not as long as we remember a couple of helpful strategies.
     
    The right kind of praise and encouragement help our children develop the self-confidence and knowledge they need to reach their potential. That is why it is so important to really understand what good praise looks like - and when it falls short of meeting the mark.
     ... 
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  • How to Nurture Resilience in Children

    I just answered a question about stress and children and shared seven essential ingredients of resiliency. But what does it look like to really nurture resilience in children? How do we increase our children's self esteem while making sure that they develop the emotional tools to navigate hardship and challenge? The good news is, we can do both at the... 

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  • Stress and children: What's the right balance?

    I watch my daughter spend so much time and energy protecting her kids from disappointment. My mom always said challenge was good for me! Should we really shield our kids so much?

    Miranda, A concerned grandma from Oklahoma

    Miranda,

    It's not easy to watch our kids experience stress and... 

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  • The Marshmallow Experiment

    I saw Dr. Dave Walsh present a couple of weeks ago and loved the video he showed of the marshmallow experiment. What a fun way to learn about impulse control and delay of gratification! Where can I find this video?

    Marjorie, Huron County, Michigan

    Marjorie, I am glad you... 

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  • Nurturing perseverance and commitment

    I am a high school teacher and coach. I am recently seeing a trend among my student athletes of quitting sports half way through the season.  When I approach their parents I get the response "they make their own decision." This deeply concerns me. Do you have any advice?

    - Matt, California

    ... 

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  • Ten Tips to Prevent "Discipline Deficit Disorder"

    1. Learn how to set limits and say no.
    2. Support, don't rescue.
    3. Encourage, don't coddle.
    4. Get kids what they need but not everything they want.
    5. Back up teachers and schools.
    6. Take charge of media.
    7. Have clear and high expectations.
    8. Expect kids to do chores.
    9. Set and enforce clear limits and consequences.
    10. Expect kids to volunteer and help others.
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  • Tips to Tame the "Gimmes"

    • Set a good example of saving, sharing, and spending.
    • Suggest that friends and family give more modest presents.
    • Talk to your child before you go to the store about what kind of purchases are allowed.
    • Expect and support your child in sharing with those in need.
    • Listen to your child or teen when she tells you what she needs for school or special... 
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